


The Night Before Christmas

by asleepingtiger



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Eve, Clexa, F/F, Forgiveness, Hurt, Love, Madi is Clarke Griffin and Lexa's Child, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Pain, Pet wolf pup, Raven is the best aunty, Single Parent Clarke, Wayward lexa, german shepherd named bo, young madi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asleepingtiger/pseuds/asleepingtiger
Summary: Clarke is living as a single parent taking care of her daughter Madi who is almost 4 years old. Not forgetting being an owner of a very stubborn German Shepherd named Bo. It’s Christmas Eve and someone appears at their home late at night, which Clarke hadn’t expected especially after 3 and a half years.
Relationships: Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 22
Kudos: 374





	1. Christmas Magic

**Author's Note:**

> I’m hoping to stick to posting 2 chapters for this short story, hope you enjoy.

“Madi, did you find your snuggle buddy?” Clarke called from her daughter's bedroom.

“Bo! It’s mine, you have your toys.” The young child tried pulling her stuffed animal from underneath Bo.

Clarke was getting her child’s room together for bedtime turning on the little Christmas tree lights and could hear her daughter fighting off Bo.

She walked into the hallway to see her daughter trying to get their dog off of Madi’s teddy.

“Bo! Shift your fluffy butt,” soon as she called to their stubborn German Shepherd he stood up and groaned.

“Don’t back chat me, mister!” 

The dog whines as he yawned and went plodding down the stairs.

Madi grabbed her sloth teddy and pulled a face, “eww! Bo slobbered on my teddy!”

She held it out at arms length as she sauntered over to her mom.

“I hope Bo is on Santa’s naught list!” She grunted as she handed the teddy to her mom.

Clarke took it and realised it was ringing wet with dog saliva, “nice.”

“Is Santa bringing me a new teddy?!” Madi asked excitedly once she got into her bed. 

Clarke followed her daughter and pulled up the covers so Madi would be warm.

“You’ll have to wait and see in the morning.” Clarke answered not giving her daughter an absolute answer. 

Leading up to the last few weeks for Christmas Raven had taken Clarke into the city for Christmas shopping hoping to find a few things for her daughter. Whilst buying some things that Madi had asked for throughout the year, Clarke saw a much bigger version of a sloth teddy. She knew it had to be taken home. 

Raven helped Clarke out with Madi a lot once she was born, single parent and a newborn wasn’t easy. When Clarke was working eighteen hour shifts at the hospital Raven would babysit Madi, she’d bathe her, feed her a bottle and do all the other chores that was required for a baby.

“Is Aunty Raven coming over tomorrow?! I’ll need to show her my gifts Santa got me.” 

Clarke saw the Christmas magic in her little girl’s green eyes, it warmed her heart.

“Yes of course! And Anya, Uncle Bellamy and Grandma, all the important people in your life will be here tomorrow.” Clarke gushed at her daughter, although every year since her daughter was born a big part of the creation wouldn’t be, Clarke wasn’t even sure if she knew Madi existed.

“All of the family will be here!” Madi’s smiled beamed so much she could light up the whole house. 

Clarke pulled Madi into a big hug, “I love you baba!”

“I love you too mommy”

The dog had made its way outside of Madi's bedroom after hearing the excited child and made himself known.

Madi giggles, “Bo is here.”

Clarke pulled from the hug and turned around to see her dog waiting to be invited in.

“You can’t bear not being included in hugs can you, boy?” 

She rolled her eyes, “c’mon then, you big softie.”

The dog excitedly bound in like a bull in a china shop and padded all over Clarke trying to get to Madi.

*hmpth* “Don’t mind me, dog! You walk on my thighs, it doesn’t hurt with your big paws.” 

“Bo,” Madi giggles, “stop licking me!”

He finally manages to settle himself at the foot of the bed and laid his head down watching over at his best friend.

“I think he’s made himself comfortable, don’t you?” 

Madi reaches over to Bo’s radar ears and strokes them “yeah.”

“Want a bedtime story?” Clarke asked. It was only 8:30pm.

“Please!”

“Okay, leave Bo to settle and get comfy.”

Back to the cover being pulled up Madi waited for her mom to start.

———————

“So the Commander fell in love with a girl from the sky?” Madi asked.

Clarke smiled, “she did,”

“But what happened after that, did they have a happy ending?” 

“Well, in my version they do.” 

“Tell me, mommy!”

“The commander gave her responsibility to the oldest night blood, Aden. He didn’t receive the flame but he was well supported by the members of the council and the people native to the ground.”

“How old was Aden?”

“He was 13.” Clarke replied.

“So what happened to the sky girl and the commander?”

“Well they left the capital, not everyone agreed with the commander leaving her duties, however it was her duty to protect the sky girl, because of how much she loved her.” Clarke looked down trying not to get emotional because of who she was thinking about whilst telling the story. 

“So the commander, did all that to be with the sky girl?” Madi’s smile grew.

“She did, yes because she loved her and her previous love had died and she wanted to not to have the same thing happen again,” 

“Did they have babies and get married?” Madi beamed.

“Yes they had a beautiful wedding, but they couldn’t have babies though. It was hard for it to be possible in their world.” Clarke carefully chose her words.

“Why?” The girl wondered.

“Well, they were both women. It's hard for them to make babies.” Clarke leaned back and looked at the clock, it was passed her daughter’s bedtime.

“Oh. That’s not fair.”

Clarke kissed Madi’s head good night as she stood up.

“Good night, baby.”

“Night, mommy.” Little Madi turned over and snuggled in her covers still with the dog at her feet.

As Clarke went to leave the room her daughter called out to her.

“What is it?”

“Who's my other parent?” She asked innocently.

Clarke froze, she didn’t want to have the conversation yet.

“How about we talk about it tomorrow? Santa will be here soon and he’ll know if you’re asleep or not, okay.” 

“Oh yeah, I forgot. Night mommy!” 

Clarke watched her daughter close her eyes and turned her attention to the dog who staring back at her. He was judging her.

“Really?”

The dog huffed and went back to resting his weary head on his paws.

—————

Once down stairs Clarke drank the small cup of red wine and ate a mince pie Madi left out for Santa. 

After Clarke had prepared the downstairs guest room it was nearing 11pm, but still had a few gifts to wrap for Madi and her family. As she gathered the wrapping paper and tape there was a small knock at the door.

Clarke looked over at the antique clock on the brick wall above the fireplace, “who’d be here at this time, late carols?”

She got up and turned the light on, luckily the dog was still upstairs or he would have barked and woke Madi.

She got to the door and unlocked it cautiously, “bloody carols at this time.”

“It’s past eleven, I have youn-” Clark started as the door opened only to be instantly silenced by who is stood in front of her.

“L-Lexa?” Her breath was taken from her lungs by the sight.

“Hi, Clarke.” Her voice was quiet and shy.

Lexa stood there in her long black suit coat, her brown curly hair hung loosely around her neck and she held a small red present box in her hands. It had started snowing again because there were flecks on the black coat. 

“How d-did you know, I” Clarke struggled to put words into a sentence “how did you know where to find me?”

Lexa looked down and held the red box in her right hand as her free hand fumbled in her pocket, she had retrieved a letter. 

Soon as Clarke saw the distinctive coloured paper and writing she took a deep breath, “no.”

“I’m so sorry, I only received it a couple of days ago.”

Clarke was confused to learn Lexa only got a letter Clarke had written three and a half years ago.

“That letter,” she pointed to Lexa’s hand, “is over three years old! How have you only just gotten it a couple days ago?! How Lexa!”

Lexa swallowed, “Clarke, it’s a long story.”

Soft whines came from behind Clarke which was brought to their attention.

Clarke looked and it was Bo.

Lexa saw and she smiled and bent down, soon as she did the dog bolted passed Clarke and was all over Lexa. He jumped up, furiously wagging his tail and whimpered, he was so happy to see his other owner.

“Oh Bo!” Lexa cooed, she rubbed his head.

After the greeting of their dog Clarke instructed him back inside.

“He’s grown so big!” Lexa said to Clarke.

“Well he was only a puppy when you walked out on me.” Clarke explained purposely choosing certain words.

“Clarke, I can explain.” Her voice was soft.

“I’m sure you can.” Clarke looked away, she wanted to be mad, be angry, cry and at the same time kiss Lexa.

“Lex-” 

“Mommy, Bo isn’t on my bed.” The young child rubbed her eyes sleepily unaware what was unfolding in front of her.

Clarke went over to Madi’s side and quietly hushed her daughter.

“Has Santa been yet, mommy?”

Clarke was kneeled in front of the little one and brushed the dark curly brunette hair out of Madi’s eyes.

When Clarke went to her daughter she had left the front door open and Lexa saw her daughter for the first time.

The emotions became too much for her. She saw a lot of Clarke’s mannerisms and as well as her own. Her features we also uncanny, Lexa saw her own features in the child.

Madi was now fully awake thanks to the commotion, “mommy, who is that?”

Clarke breathed in deeply, there’s no turning back now.

She stood up and held Madi’s hand in her own and walked over to Lexa.

“Madi, you know the story I told you about the sky girl and the commander?”

“Yeah, and they got married and they couldn’t have babies which is so unfa-”.

“Madi you’re right, but in this world that can happen.” Clarke held her daughter’s hand tighter, scared of the reaction that may erupt.

“Clarke you don’t have to do this now if-” Lexa was also anxious about what is to be said next.

Clarke decided kneel next to her child “Madi, Lexa here who we’ve mentioned a few times.”

The girl nodded, “mommy’s second special person.”

Clarke cleared her throat, “yeah, well remembered.” She looks up at Lexa wondered what part she heard.

Lexa slightly smirked when Clarke wasn’t looking.

“And you asked about a second parent?” Clarke waited for Madi to remember.

“Yeah, before I went to bed.” The girl remembering.

“Well, Lexa, baby,” Clarke took a deep breath and felt a hand on her shoulder. “Madi, Lexa is your other parent.”

The little girl took a deep breath and looked at Lexa and at her Mommy.

Lexa also took a deep breath and slowly let it go.

A big smile was plastered all over the girls face and jumped in Clarke’s arms “Santa listened, mommy! He listened!!” 

She pulled away and ran into Lexa’s legs hugging them tight.

Both adults looked at each other and burst into big smiles, Clarke had tears rolling down her eyes, happy tears. She looked at Lexa who literally had a child clung to her she too had shed a tear or two. 

Lexa bent down as Madi went back to her mommy, “hey Madi, have you been waiting for me?”

“A long, long, loonnnng time!” 

“We both have.” Clarke admitted.

Lexa stood back up, she pinched her lips tightly trying to hold her emotions in. Luckily Madi had ran to the dog.

“We need to talk, Lexa.” 

Lexa nodded, “I know.”

“Nearly four years worth, Lex.” Clarke looked straight into Lexa’s eyes, there was no way out this time, she had to go through.

“There are things I have to tell you that will be hard for you to process.” Lexa closed her eyes and reopened them.

“I’m willing to listen to it all, if you want to be apart of this we have to find a way to do so.”

Lexa nodded.

“Come in, I’ll make bed up for you on the couch.”

“Clarke you don’t have to I can stay at the motel lodge.”

“No, it’s Christmas Eve, it’s snowing and cold. You’re staying.”

Lexa smiled, “thank you.”

They both went in and closed the door. Lexa watched Madi playing with dog.

“Madi c’mon back to bed.” Clarke already climbing the stairs.

“But mommy,” she whined.

“Madi, bed. Now.”

The childish groans were heard she walked over to Lexa, “I hope you’re not as bossy as, mommy!”

Lexa bent down to the girl, “I’m not, don’t worry.”

The girl giggled and ran up the stairs to her mom.

“Night, Momma!” 

Both Lexa and Clarke looked at each other, not sure what to say or do.

“Night, Madi.” Lexa called back.


	2. Lone Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***there is a warning for this chapter, there is mention of a miscarriage in the first set of italics so if you need to skip then you’ll know where it is*** 
> 
> I’ve never had to do trigger warnings so I hope this was enough.
> 
> Also, THANK YOU for all of the comments and kudos this story has received, ive never had such an amazing reaction! 
> 
> If you haven’t noticed I have made it into a 3 part story!

It was another gloomy day in the mountains when Lexa woke in her cabin, ever since she escaped her everyday life she would wake up early to go down to the lake and take a swim. The past few mornings she hadn’t and instead did the jobs she needed to do before she went into the small town where she had found a small job to keep her going.

As the time got closer for her to leave for work she grabbed her rucksack and placed the essentials in that she would need for the day, her hours weren’t too long not like how she would work back in the city. 

When Lexa arrived in Nora town she instantly went looking for any jobs, she didn’t care so much of not having a roof over her head because she had her truck to sleep in, but she had to eat. After going around the town asking in shops for any jobs she finally found a place that offered six hour days working Monday to Friday in a coffee shop, it suited her. 

The owner of the coffee shop had realised Lexa had been camping out in her truck after a few weeks, she mentioned it to her father who had an old cabin which had been vacant for years. The owner's father happily offered it to her, rent free as long as she needed it. Lexa did have to work on it before she called it a temporary home, she only thought she would be there for a few months and move on again as she did the last place. She had been living there for almost three years.

The last place she was in she let Anya know of her whereabouts but she felt as if it was a mistake and quickly moved on without saying anything, she thought it would be better. Yet did she know it was her biggest mistake she had made.

“Morning, Lexa.” The manager greeted.

“Hey,” She replied quietly, the coffee shop had only just opened, so there weren't many of the locals in. 

Lexa walked out into the back of the shop, took her rucksack and coat off hanging them on the hooks available and tied her hair up. She had tied her utility pockets around her front and was ready to start her shift.

“Lex, would you mind covering me later for an hour or so? My daughter isn’t very well at the moment.” The manager asked desperately.

“Of course Luna, I can manage it here. If you need to, I’ll cover you for the day.” Lexa offered, she knew Luna was a single parent and how much her she loved her daughter.

“There’s no need to take the whole day, my Father is taking care of her for now.” 

Lexa smiled, “if you change your mind, it’s not a problem.”

Luna was grateful of Lexa, she always wondered what she was doing in a small town like Nora.

“Where you’re from is there any nice guys?” Luna asked jokingly, not expecting Lexa to give her a serious answer.

Lexa smirked as she buttoned the top of her orange and brown checkered shirt, “I wouldn’t know.”

She walked passed a confused Luna grabbing a spare notebook and pen.

“What do you mean you wouldn’t know? You’re beautiful, considerate and let’s not forget how hot you are.” Luna pushed as she watched Lexa getting ready to serve her first customer of the day.

Lexa quickly looked behind her and smirked, “I like women.”

While Luna was taken aback by her answer and Lexa turned to take an order with an amused smile. 

————

********

They both sat next to each other crying, tears fell heavily on the bathroom mat, snot dripping from Lexa’s nose before she aggressively wiped it away. The harrowing sobs could be heard throughout their home, the poor young puppy waited outside the bedroom door whining and whimpering at his owners cries.

“Lex, listen to me we can try again.” Clarke turned and held Lexa’s sodden face in her hands trying to get her attention, “we can work it out.”

Lexa pulled away and shook her head, “no more, Clarke. I can’t take it anymore.”

Clarke pulled Lexa into her chest, “I love you, Lexa!”

They stayed in the same position for an hour before they moved to the downstairs.

Clarke had suggested to Lexa to shower, hopefully to wash off their long day at the hospital. They had been there since 4am that morning, Clarke had called an ambulance instantly after discovering Lexa had passed out from the amount of blood she lost, she had miscarried...again.

Everyone was incredible at the hospital, Clarke’s work colleagues couldn’t have been more supportive, the chief of surgery Clarke’s Mom had been there with them every step of the way. It wasn’t until Lexa had woken in the hospital bed and that her vitals were on the right track that Abby had pulled Clarke aside, her mom told her that Lexa almost died due to the amount of blood that she lost.

Lexa showered alone, Clarke had offered to shower her but Lexa just wanted to be left with her thoughts and feelings.

********

————

The coffee shop had gotten a little busier since when Lexa started and had been constantly on the go since she told Luna she was basically gay, she could tell Luna wanted to ask more about her but Lexa wasn’t going to let up anytime soon.

“Lexa, I want to know,” Luna bugged as Lexa had come behind the till side, pouring drinks.

“Know what? I’m not interesting, honestly.” Lexa was concentrating on not to pour scalding water on herself.

“Well that’s where I think you are, of all the places you could’ve found yourself in, you’re here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by these big ass mountains.” Luna carries on.

After pouring cups of tea for the elderly ladies she turned to Luna, “Luna, we’re good friends. I don’t normally make friends since the city and there’s a reason for it. A good reason.” Lexa sighed heavily, “I really don’t want to talk about it, besides,” she looked up at the clock, “go see your daughter, I’ve got this place.”

Luna smiled slightly, “I’ll drop it, I’m sorry.”

Lexa nodded, “its okay, maybe I’ll need the chat soon but right now, I just can’t go there.

After Luna left the coffee shop had quietened down, luckily for Lexa but it meant she was left with her thoughts and she hated that. When she left the city behind, she never told anyone about who she really was in case people would talk.

When she walked away from her life and the person who she loved the most in this world, she told her sister Anya that not to find her or try to contact her, only that she would herself once she settled somewhere remote and far away. Lexa left her belongings with her sister and the bits she didn’t have room for with her cousin Lincoln, however it didn’t sit well with Octavia. For obvious reasons.

Finally Lexa’s day at work came to an end, once she had locked the coffee shop she went to drop off the keys at Luna’s. It was a quick hello to Luna’s dad and her daughter. Luna’s daughter, Lilly, who's aged 4 took a liking to Lexa when she was first invited round her friend’s home, as much as Lexa kept her at arms length she couldn’t deny giving Lilly cuddles when she asked Lexa for them. 

On Lexa’s way to her cabin she noticed something walking around it, she walked quicker up the muddy tracks hoping to catch whatever it was. As she got closer she noticed whatever it was, was injured, there were spots of blood trailing on the wooden porch.

She kneeled down and put her rucksack down quietly hoping not to scare off the animal, she followed to where she saw it went. As she turned on the corner of her cabin she saw a young grey puppy of sorts, she couldn’t believe what she had found.

“Hey,” she whispered softly.

The grey puppy cried and lost its balance trying to get away.

“It’s okay little one, I won’t hurt you.” She moved slowly and as she did the puppy curled up leaving its bloody paw out.

Lexa looked around her and couldn’t see any sign of it’s mother, “where’s your mom, little one?”

The puppy whined and watched Lexa get closer, it partly knew to trust her but that didn’t stop it from showing its teeth.

Lexa stopped in her tracks, she knew she had to help the little animal, “I’m not going to hurt you, I want to help.”

The puppy rested its head on it's good paw watching Lexa’s next move.

Lexa took a deep breath wondering what to do, she realised that this puppy wasn’t from a dog that was domesticated. It’s features were wolf like, big paws even at its size, it’s teeth and eyes.

“Okay, I know what to get you.” Lexa backed away slowly keeping her eyes on the pup and stood up. She quickly went into her cabin and went to the fridge, she remembered that she had raw meat left from the night before and grabbed pieces of it.

As Lexa made her back to the puppy slowly it had stayed exactly where she left it.

She kneeled down and showed the puppy the raw meat which made it manoeuvre towards her, she pulled bits of it and placed the meat near the pup. Lexa half expected the wolf to snarl but it just watched her place the meat. It took it a few minutes to decide to eat the small piece of meat, the pup looked up at Lexa deciding to trust her.

“You want some more?”

The pup limped towards her step by step, Lexa had chucked another piece which was instantly gobbled up.

“You’re hungry, huh.” Lexa tried to see if the pup was injured anywhere else but she couldn’t but knew this wolf was indeed a little female.

The wolf slowly came closer as the meat was being thrown to her. Lexa wasn’t sure what was going to happen once she was out of meat, she didn’t think the wolf would get so close to her.

Lexa swallowed hard as she gave the pup its last piece, to her surprise the little wolf pup padded closer to her and fell in her lap. It’s injured paw looked fixable but what was Lexa going to do then? This wolf pup was too trusting of her, naturally wolves travelled in packs and would stay clear of humans let alone sit in one's lap almost begging for help.

It was getting dark quick and Lexa had yet to think what she was going to do, one thing is for certain she had to fix the paw. 

“Okay, let’s see about taking you inside.” Lexa’s heart rate thumped in her chest, this wolf could easily turn on her, injured or not.

She looked around to see where she had placed her rucksack, luckily it was in reaching distance. She reached for it still keeping an eye on the wolf and pulled it closer to her so she could empty it. The pup watched what she was doing, not once showing Lexa any signs of aggression, with all of the belongings on the floor Lexa opened it up and tried to get the pup inside. Instead of trying to make her way in the rucksack the wolf just kept watching Lexa’s hand movements.

Lexa sighed, “you’re as obedient as a dog called Bo.”

The wolf pup just tilted its head at what she was saying.

This time Lexa tried picking the pup up in her arms and by amazement she let her.

If anyone was around they would have seen the warmth on Lexa’s face, “I should’ve just done that to start with, girly.”

—————————

Lexa was placing things in her truck a hold-all of clothes an a few boxes of things.

“Lexa! Please don’t leave me, please!” Clarke begged her as she sobbed.

Lexa too was crying but she had to do this, “CLARKE!” She shouted, she had shocked Clarke at her raising her voice, and she noticed, she hadn’t meant to shout. “I can’t do this anymore! I constantly feel guilty, I’m riddled in it! My body rejects it every time we try!”

Lexa stood there with her hands on her face, hair all shrewd and cried harder.

Clarke leant against the threshold unable to hold herself up anymore, “I love you, Lexa! Please!”

Lexa looked away, she wanted to say it back, so bad she wanted to tell Clarke how much she does but she couldn’t.

Their young german shepherd puppy unaware of the event unfolding kept rubbing his toy up at Lexa’s leg wanting to play and following her wherever she walked.

Ignoring the little Bo Lexa walked over to Clarke and pulled her into a hug which Clarke reciprocated, she held onto her tighter than any other hugs she’s received.

“I need to do this Clarke, I can’t do this anymore.” Lexa whispered into Clarke’s ear, “my heart is yours and it always will be. Right now I have to take care of myself to keep it beating.”

The tears kept falling, both of them red eyed and had puffy cheeks. Lexa pulled away from Clarke’s grasp.

“No, Lex.” Clarke murmured.

Lexa kissed Clarke’s sweaty forehead and let it linger for over a second before pulling away, “you know I have to.”

Lexa slowly walked away hearing Clarke’s cries, she too was sobbing. As she got into her truck she noticed the dog had followed her, she bent over and grabbed his toy before she gave it back she ruffled his head, “take care of her for me.”

The puppy had no idea what she was saying and tilted his head still with his eyes on his favourite rubber ball. She finally gave it back to him and closed her door ready to start the engine, she adjusted her rear mirror and saw Clarke slumped on the doorstep being fussed by the puppy. 

“I love you, Clarke”

————-

Lexa let the wolf pup rest on a spare blanket, she finally was able to stitch the deep cut on the paw that was causing her so much pain. Lexa kept looking over at the wolf as she made herself some food before settling in for the night.

The wolf pup kept her eyes trained on Lexa as she made food, she had given the rest of the meat that was left to the wolf which was soon eaten.

“I can feel you looking watching little pup,” Lexa looked behind her.

With her food ready to eat, Lexa sat opposite the wolf, she needed to give her a name.

“So what do I call you then?” 

The wolf tilted her head picking up that Lexa was talking to her.

As Lexa continued thinking of a name to call this wolf, the fact she’s suddenly decided to take care of this wolf is beyond her.

Lexa took no time finishing her meal and still without a name for her new friend, she looked over at the pup and smiled upon seeing she had fallen asleep in the blanket.

Trying not to disturb the sleeping animal she carefully placed her plate in the sink, Lexa realised since she brought the wolf in she hadn’t given it any water and started looking in her cupboards. The only bowl she could find was a large mixing bowl that had been gifted to her by Luna’s father. 

Placing down the bowl full of water Lexa went to place more logs on the fire to keep it warm for the wolf during the night, by now Lexa was used to the coldness in the mornings.

Still no sign of the wolf moving since placing the logs on the fire, she walked over to the sleeping wolf and looked at the paw making sure it was healing, as she did the wolf licked her hand whilst looking at Lexa. Whether or not the wolf meant to it made Lexa smile.

“I’ll think of a name for you,” Lexa stepped away and went into the room where she slept, there wasn’t a door which separated the bedroom from the living area where the pup was sleeping.

Lexa laid in bed looking up at the roof of the cabin, listening out for any sounds from the wolf. After a few minutes she hadn’t heard the pup so she allowed herself to fall asleep.

————

Lexa parked her truck up further down the street from Clarke’s house, before she exited she turned to her pup wolf, “I won’t be long, Echo.” 

The wolf just did the usual head tilt as the door closed.

Lexa took a deep breath as she made her way to Clarke’s door, the last time she was here Lexa left Clarke sobbing at the door. She kept her hand in her coat pocket, feeling the letter that she only gotten posted to her hours ago. Almost a four year mistake, someone was going to be responsible.

She couldn’t believe the letter Clarke sent her, although it was a vague letter it was enough to understand what was being said. She had a daughter.

Lexa stood there at the door closing her eyes, she didn’t know how this was going to go but she was here and there was no turning back. The knock on the door was strong and was loud enough for it to be answered.

“L-Lexa,” Clarke gasped.


	3. Healing Process

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter and finished story, finally! 
> 
> I hope everyone is keeping safe in this current situation. 
> 
> I have a new story currently in the works so I kinda had to finish this one.

They didn’t say anything for a few seconds while Lexa took in her surroundings, everything was familiar but at the same time it wasn’t. Lexa looked over at Clarke, she didn’t know how to start the conversation or where to start.

“Clarke, I…” Lexa sighed, she honestly didn’t know what to tell Clarke.

“Lexa, it’s okay.” Clarke sensed Lexa’s uneasiness, “we don’t have to talk about that day. Just tell me where you’ve been or tell me why you have a wolf in your car at least.”

Lexa relaxed slightly, there was no pressure but she had to say something.

For the next hour they talked about the past four years that they spent without each other. Lexa told her how she came by to have a wolf and Clarke told her how she had worked herself up in the hospital. It didn’t take long for them to fall into their old comfortable ways when they were talking, but there was a big elephant in the room that needed to be addressed.

“Lexa, I’ve missed you so much. I struggled for a long time without you.”

Lexa looked up, Clarke went there.

“I didn’t want to leave,” Lexa's voice was just above a whisper. “But I was so unhappy, Clarke.”

“I lost our baby too, we both lost it.” 

Lexa’s eyes became glossy, “I know.”

“I never imagined that you would leave, I thought we were strong enough to be able to deal with it together.” Clarke admitted.

Lexa wiped a tear that had gotten free, “I wasn’t strong enough, and you deserved better.”

“I wanted you Lexa and most importantly I needed you.”

Lexa heard the desperation in Clarke’s voice and caused another tear to slip free this time Lexa let it drop from her cheek.

“I couldn’t be around you. I felt like I let us down, again. I just felt guilty.” Lexa’s tears fell freely, “I couldn’t bear to be around you and look at you when I couldn’t give you a child.” She sobbed.

Clarke reached over at Lexa’s hands and held them, “the thing is Lexa, you did and she’s sleeping up stairs waiting for Santa to come and leave her presents. You gave me Madi.”

“But I thought you couldn’t, after that doctor telling us and your mum confirming it I-”

“Lexa, we don’t always get it right, even the highest doctor in the hospital can get it wrong. My mum got it so wrong.” Clarke explained, still with Lexa’s hands in her own.

Lexa looked at Clarke, “I was so stupid Clarke.” 

Clarke shook her head, “you were hurting and I might even say weren’t in the right frame of mind. You found a way to survive.”

“Clarke, please. I walked out on you at the most fragile time of our relationship, I just left you here. And I ran, I ran away from you, not to you.” Lexa sat back and realised what she was saying.

Clarke listened and nodded her head trying not to cry remembering that memory.

Lexa looked to the side of her unable to look at Clarke, afraid that if she saw Clarke crying she’d cry too. 

“I shouldn’t have waited to get a letter, I should have turned back around as soon as I left the road.” Lexa sniffed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

“I waited, Lexa, I waited for you to come back. Even after giving birth to Madi, I still had hope that you would come back to us.” Clarke whispered. 

Lexa turned to look at Clarke, “I’m so sorry it took me so long to come back.”

“But you’re back now, you can get to know Madi. She’s a real charmer.” Clarke’s smiles thinking about her daughter. 

Lexa’s mouth twitched as she tried to smile at the thought of getting to know her daughter. That thought sat with her, her heart fluttered. She’d not felt that feeling in such a long time, she never stopped loving Clarke. 

Lexa was aware of the damage that she caused between the both of them, she broke the trust and the connection that they once had. She looked over at Clarke as if it was the first time she saw her and got up and rushed over to her, unsure what reaction she was going to get.

“Lexa I love y-“

Clarke was cut off by Lexa lips. It was a soft kiss but had force behind it.

They broke and Lexa pulled away scared of what may come, was it inappropriate or was it wrong, was Clarke going to toss her out in the cold?

“Clarke, I’m sorry that was...” Lexa closed her eyes and realised how irresponsible it was.

Clarke stepped closer to Lexa and took her right hand that was down by her side, “Lexa,” her voice was husky, sexy almost.

Lexa slowly looked up, hearing Clarke’s tone.

Clarke’s other hand gradually gets closer to Lexa’s left cheek wanting to pull her into her space.

Their eyes danced unsure if they wanted to do this whilst they’re still trying to figure out their new situation they were in.

“Kiss me again,” the huskiness in Clarke’s voice became lower, “kiss me hard.”

Lexa took a second wondering if Clarke really wanted this. The second came and went in, Lexa made her choice.

Lexa closed the remaining difference and took Clarke’s waist as they kissed. Their kissing became desperate, heated and passionate.

Clarke whimpered at the sensation of Lexa’s tongue fighting for dominance, she missed the way Lexa kissed her but this was different. It was like Lexa was scared of letting go.

Clarke started to remove Lexa’s clothing in a hurry to feel her skin against her hands, the skin that she had missed touching. 

They both fell onto the nearest couch Clarke on top of Lexa, still clothed. They broke away to catch their breath, as they did Clarke removed her jeans and revealed the scar from the c-section from giving birth to Madi. Lexa casted her eyes down and saw. Clarke saw Lexa’s eyes move to her scar and lifted Lexa’s chin to meet their eyes, Clarke clashed their lips together to stop anything from being spoken.

______

Both women laid there in silence, their naked bodies wrapped in a blanket mulling over what had occurred a few moments ago.

Clarke had her head resting on Lexa’s bare chest listening to her heart beat slow down. She had missed everything about Lexa. 

Lexa lay looking up at the ceiling with an arm around Clarke’s shoulders unable to say anything in case of bringing them back to reality. If she was honest about how she was feeling she’d say she was scared, because she wasn’t sure what this meant for them both.

With the thoughts spinning in Lexa’s head she removed herself from Clarke’s embrace and sat up holding the blanket above her breasts.

“Lex, what’s wrong?” Clarke asked as she watched Lexa reach for her bra and loose top.

Lexa dressed her upper body before getting out of the cover, “have you seen my knickers?” She asked looking around for them not making eye contact with the blonde.

“Lex, hold on just a second.” Clarke tried.

Still looking around Lexa avoids Clarke, “they can’t have gone far.”

“Lexa, just look at me.” Clarke was trying to be patient as Lexa was starting to freak out.

“I need to find them, I can’t go out in the cold without any.” The brunette continues to mumble.

Clarke shifts from leaning on her arm to sitting up wrapping the blanket completely around her now that Lexa didn’t need it.

“I need to go see if Echo is okay and hasn’t completely ruined my car.”

Clarke shook her head, she knew this is how Lexa would react after having sex after everything that has happened.

“Lexa, look at me!” Clarke’s raised voice cut through Lexa freak out.

Lexa froze in place, knickers in hand and not daring to look at Clarke.

“Lexa, we just had sex. We just had incredible sex.” Clarke stared at Lexa’s side profile.

Lexa slowly looked over at Clarke, her loose curls fell as she turned around.

“What if Madi came down and saw us? What if she heard us?” Lexa’s voice was soft, unlike the cries minutes ago.

“She didn’t, she’s a heavy sleeper, like you. I was more worried about Bo interrupting us.” Clarke looked around and grabbed her top, ignoring her bra but made a mental note to move it before the morning rises.

Lexa watched her get dressed, “are we not going to talk about what just happened and what it means?”

It was Clarke’s turn to play deaf, she pulled the blanket away and walked past Lexa ass out, not bothering to find her bottoms.

Lexa watched Clarke walk into the kitchen and grab a drink of water.

“Want one?” Clarke’s called out.

“I’ll pass.” Lexa’s tone was dry.

Clarke came walking out of the kitchen with a glass of water in hand.

“I love you, Clarke.” Lexa quietly confessed.

Clarke’s features softened, “I know, and I love you Lexa.”

“What are we going to do? It’s clear that we love each other and are still connected to one another.” Lexa needed to know, was she wasting her time, was their moments of passion a last time or was it going to be the start of something new?

“Lexa, you came back because of the letter because you found out you have a child, we have a child. I don’t doubt in my mind that you don’t love me, at all because I know you do.”

Lexa waited for Clarke to carry on to see where she was going with this. 

“But you left me when things got unbearable, you left. How can I trust that in the future it won’t happen again.” Clarke walked over to Lexa and held her hands.

Lexa held Clarke’s eyes, “I know I screwed up, massively. But I can promise you, I will never ever leave you, ever! I promise you Clarke Griffin.”

Clarke slightly smiled, she wanted to believe Lexa but it wasn’t going to be as simple as that.

“Lexa, I want to believe it, I really. I'm just not sure if I can go through it again.”

“Clarke please,” Lexa pleaded, “I’ll do anything, anything.”

Clarke took a deep breath in and nodded, “okay, maybe we should start dating again, take it slow.”

Lexa liked the sound of that and made a face of the mention of taking it slow, considering they just had sex on Clarke’s couch with their kid laid in bed upstairs.

“What?” Clarke noticed the smirk.

“You just said take it slow, I think we’ve already crossed that line.” Lexa smirked.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “well it’s not like sex was ever an issue with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who have read this story, it was dark and light hearted in other places.   
> Take care
> 
> ~ asleepingtiger


End file.
